Intimacy and sex while catheterising

The confidence to enjoy an active sex life

Intermittent catheterisation in itself rarely interferes with sexual activity. Make sure to catheterise and empty your bladder completely before having sex to prevent leakage. Women are more likely to get a urinary tract infection and sexual activity can increase the risk because of the female anatomy, but men can also get UTIs it – so the following advice is relevant for both: 

Before sex 

Empty your bladder as a full bladder gives better conditions for bacteria to settle down and grow. 

During sex 

If you or your partner feel dry during intercourse, use a water-soluble gel (lubricant) to help decrease friction and stress on tissue, which can lead to infection. The use of diaphragms and spermicides can also cause irritation, which promotes infection. If you have frequent UTI talk to your doctor about another form of birth control.

After sex 

Empty your bladder immediately after having sex, even if there is only a small amount of urine in your bladder, to flush potential bacteria out. Drink 2–3 glasses of water and urinate when you have the urge to do so. The goal is to have a good steady stream of urine to wash any bacteria from the bladder. 

Talk about it!

Sex begins in your mind. A positive self-image is the first step to be able to enjoy sex. To feel that you are desirable even if your body has changed or the way you can have sex is different. Another important factor is openness towards your partner. Talking about your worries and allowing your partner to share his or her thoughts as well can help you relax when you’re together. Show or tell him or her what you like and don’t like. 

The willingness to experiment makes you think less about what you can’t do and might even spice up your sex life. People cope with their bladder issues when it comes to sex in different ways including: 

• Laughing about it
• Having sex in the shower 
• Connecting intimately in other ways like massage
• Padding the bed with sheets
• Avoiding sex 

For women 

It hurts when we have sex. What can I do? 

Some women with bladder problems may have pain during intercourse. If this happens, contact your doctor or nurse for advice. 

My vagina feels dry 

This can be a common difficulty for some women. Try some water-based lubricant. If you have sore skin, you should see your doctor about it. 

I often suffer from urinary tract infections (UTIs)

• Be careful to clean your genital area before and after sex.
• Drink lots of water afterwards and empty your bladder when you feel the urge to.
• This will flush out bacteria. If this does not prevent UTIs talk to your doctor. 

I am pregnant. Can ISC harm my baby? 

Intermittent catheterisation will not harm the baby at any stage of your pregnancy. 

For Men

I worry about leakage 

If you use intermittent catheterisation just before the act, you should not need to worry. If you still have concerns, try wearing a condom. 

I sometimes get an erection when I catheterise 

Sometimes catheterisation stimulates an erection. When you stimulate a reflex erection, you may want to use that erection for intercourse. If you take the catheter out and let the erection go away, it will for most men be harder to stimulate a second reflex erection. Try to do a little foreplay, then catheterise, and then quickly continue with more foreplay using the erection that comes from the catheterisation.